Une femme au volant de sa vie – “A woman in charge of her own life”

Non classé

“I never knew what I wanted to do, but I knew the type of woman I wanted to be” – Diane Von Furstenberg

Choosing female role models was an important step for me. A few years ago I read “The Woman I wanted To Be” by Diane Von Furstenberg. She speaks about her life, her mother, background, love and her fight to become this woman. The woman “au volant de sa propre vie” – in charge of her own life. Not dependent upon a man and with the freedom to make her own decisions.

I realised that at the heart of this was one of the most prominent life lessons I inherited from my own mother. Not from her words, but from observing her actions. How she had decided what kind of life she wanted and the kind of life she wanted for her children. She achieved that goal. I watched her. And I learned that two of the most valuable determinants of great success are both hard work and faith.

Hard work.

And faith.

I remember this as I run my own race, and begin my journey. It’s easy to recall our achievements, but it is important to recall the work and sacrifices that went into achieving them. I see this already in my own life. And in my search for understanding and purpose in the pursuit of the dreams that God has laid on my heart; I am always mindful of this. And when I am not, I will return to this post and remind myself,


On Peace, Rest and Productivity

Life Essentials, Non classé, Reflections

It’s okay to take a break. 

I learned that this week.

A great man once explained that our stresses are what truly drive us to grow. He used a fantastic analogy: the lobster needs the pressure and discomfort of outgrowing his shell to be able to seclude itself, shed its old “comfort zone” and grow into its new biological environment.

So is it with us.

If you are allowing the pressures of daily life to destroy you, you are losing. Your challenges, struggles and shortcomings are valid. But it is only you who can break free from them.

I went through the fear, the fight, the resignation. And I made absolutely no progress. I decided to get up again and fight. I may have been moving slowly, making marginal progress, but I was progressing.

I drove myself to a standstill of anxiety, fear and (often unfruitful) endless hours of non-stop working. I thought I was making progress, and I was, but I was hindering myself.

This week I learned the true importance of planned, structured rest and disengagement. It sounded counterintuitive at first. But you NEED to refuel. You need rest. I was sleeping an hour a night and I grew so ineffective that I couldn’t even keep track of the days.

If you were doubting yourself, let this blog post be the anthem to help you realise that it is okay to rest. It is okay to take a break. It will help you succeed, it will not hinder you. You can be your own best friend; or worst enemy. Don’t make my mistake. It took me years to learn this.

Rest. For in rest, you will find productivity. And in rest, you will find peace.

On Navigating Uncertainty

Non classé

Focus on the journey. Because ultimately, life is a journey: the destination is the end of life. Not only is the outcome unknown to you, arriving at the destination is of minimal importance in the grand scheme of this game we call life.

I’ve been hit in the face with the proverbial sack of bricks several times in the past years. I’ve gone hard on that quarter-life crisis. I’ve had my dreams seemingly shattered – summer after summer. I have lain in bed inert for days. I have cried myself to sleep; I have been weak. I rode the rollercoaster of anxiety, depression, reform, vices, self-medication and shame. Nightmares.

Each time fell prostrate on my face, stumbled and I managed to get back up, I thought I had come back stronger. Just to be paralyzed by the next assault. I found myself seeking things I did not want. Indulging in escapism and subconsciously trying to find fulfillment in The Temporary. I turned into a shell of myself. I abandoned my gratitude journal, the gym, food and all the routines that kept me mentally afloat.

I had to make a decision. And I had to realize that my happiness is not predicated by the outcomes of my endeavors, my expectations nor my dreams. The person I had become was not capable of pursuing these dreams, achieving the goals I had once set or dealing with the successes I so desired.

I had to fight. Rekindle my ambitions. But simultaneously, be comfortable in my own skin and my current circumstances. Distant as they were from where I, and others had seen myself at this stage in life. This number. I allowed it to define me: 22. I am 22. But until recently I could see nothing in this but utter failure.

Perhaps I will die tomorrow. Perhaps I will live to see 90 years. This frightened and infuriated me. Why should I live so long in this miserable torture we call life? But what I did not realize, and what nobody could have convinced me, is that I did not have to be miserable. I was choosing to be miserable.

I was sick.

My mind could not perceive any greater hope. I was stuck; I was a prisoner in my own mind. And it was taking me nowhere. I was burning with an internal fury that manifested itself as pain and sadness. I was simply waiting for a future that I did not believe existed.

The future is now. This is the future. And I can change. I can love. I don’t need to be defined by my past. I can forge this future from now. Despite the time seemingly lost. I can forge it now. I fought. And I’m winning. Not because I am now where I had hoped; far from it. But I have come to accept and enjoy uncertainty. I don’t know what country I will be in next month. I don’t know where I will live.

But that’s okay. I accept this. And I’m fighting. Enjoying this crazy rollercoaster we call life.


Chonye: a brief introduction

Non classé

I’m Christiana. Based in Geneva and London, I consider myself a traveller, thinker, scientist and of course, skincare enthusiast.

This is a blog of my musings. I believe it is important to think. I have learned that life can be enriched by gratitude, perspective and just a pinch of positivity. I hold my principles close to my heart. I am a third culture kid. I have no problem with labels.

But it’s fair to say that I don’t fit into any boxes. 🙂